There is a great book on post traumatic stress studies called a upside which talks about the fact that in most cases PTSD can actually bring the greatest amount of growth, but they also mentioned the conditions which makes that so. Point being is that trauma alone is not sufficient, but what you do with it throughout your life
I used to worry so much about unattended children when they were around me. It didn't matter what the circumstances were, but I resented parents who just sort of wandered off while I was staring at their child, making sure they didn't put a paperclip in an electrical socket or wander into traffic or whatever.
I understand why parents are like this MUCH better now.
It's weird how it ebbs and flows. Gen X ran around with almost zero oversight. Gen Z had helicopter parents. Raising littles right now our biggest fear isn't what trouble they'll get into but what trouble we'll get into when other parents don't agree with the freedom we allow them to learn.
Thank you! I have been saying many of these things for years... mostly met with stares of pity or disbelief or anger that I could be so nonchalant about challenges (whether those were my own or broader societal challenges).
This is a good read. Thank you for posting it to me. We are antifragile by nature. Somehow, society has decided we should no longer be anti-fragile; life is a pathology now.
As someone who has lived through what many therapists would describe as clinically traumatic, I never thought of it that way until a doctor told me I had ptsd.
Right? It's exacerbated where that 'broken' identity becomes a way to claim social credit. Pathologies become personalities and personalities become pathologies. It's crazy how badly we are gumming up our own success.
The need for social credit and tribal belonging drives people to self-diagnose with these pathologies or seek out therapists who affirm their feelings. It doesn’t matter how broken the tribe is; being part of it still feels safer than standing alone.
Affirming therapists who want to keep people “sick” and paying are a real danger. They validate every feeling, never challenge the narrative, and reinforce that healing is out of reach. Sounds a bit like AI, honestly.
But the truth is, mental health is an ongoing process. It moves. It shifts. It evolves. Some abuse that reality and keep their patients locked into the belief that they are always going to be ill. That their identity is the diagnosis. That they are the misdiagnosed trauma.
Added to my tbr pile. Thank you internet stranger. You have provided me with conversation and valuable insights. You have earned a follow. I look forward to reading more of your essays.
I’m still going through his book (I’m a much slower reader of books now because I’m finding myself reading great articles written by people like you until I get to my book) but it would be fun to discuss sometime
I'd contend that believing "This type of normal occurrence in a professional environment can even be seen as harmful." is actually what is harming these people. For all they talk about trauma, the real trauma is in their inability to deal with it.
It is the society we live in and a lot of people, like the dime-a-dozen therapists, make money off of that. (New book by Abigail Shrier titled Bad Therapy talks about this.) Even worse, the pharmacuticals who sell expensive drugs to the 'worried well. (Another great book titled Saving Normal talks about this)
There is a great book on post traumatic stress studies called a upside which talks about the fact that in most cases PTSD can actually bring the greatest amount of growth, but they also mentioned the conditions which makes that so. Point being is that trauma alone is not sufficient, but what you do with it throughout your life
Great point and great recommendation. I've added it to my list!
I used to worry so much about unattended children when they were around me. It didn't matter what the circumstances were, but I resented parents who just sort of wandered off while I was staring at their child, making sure they didn't put a paperclip in an electrical socket or wander into traffic or whatever.
I understand why parents are like this MUCH better now.
It's weird how it ebbs and flows. Gen X ran around with almost zero oversight. Gen Z had helicopter parents. Raising littles right now our biggest fear isn't what trouble they'll get into but what trouble we'll get into when other parents don't agree with the freedom we allow them to learn.
Such a great insight - and glad my figure describing antifragility was inspiring!
I've been pushing anti fragility for years now. Few people are willing to design that way
Thank you! I have been saying many of these things for years... mostly met with stares of pity or disbelief or anger that I could be so nonchalant about challenges (whether those were my own or broader societal challenges).
This is a good read. Thank you for posting it to me. We are antifragile by nature. Somehow, society has decided we should no longer be anti-fragile; life is a pathology now.
As someone who has lived through what many therapists would describe as clinically traumatic, I never thought of it that way until a doctor told me I had ptsd.
Right? It's exacerbated where that 'broken' identity becomes a way to claim social credit. Pathologies become personalities and personalities become pathologies. It's crazy how badly we are gumming up our own success.
The need for social credit and tribal belonging drives people to self-diagnose with these pathologies or seek out therapists who affirm their feelings. It doesn’t matter how broken the tribe is; being part of it still feels safer than standing alone.
Affirming therapists who want to keep people “sick” and paying are a real danger. They validate every feeling, never challenge the narrative, and reinforce that healing is out of reach. Sounds a bit like AI, honestly.
But the truth is, mental health is an ongoing process. It moves. It shifts. It evolves. Some abuse that reality and keep their patients locked into the belief that they are always going to be ill. That their identity is the diagnosis. That they are the misdiagnosed trauma.
There’s no growth in that; just repetition.
Nailed it. Two books on that topic are Saving Normal and Bad Therapy, both of which are great.
Added to my tbr pile. Thank you internet stranger. You have provided me with conversation and valuable insights. You have earned a follow. I look forward to reading more of your essays.
Haha. Looking forward to future collaborations!
Glad you shared these with me brother. Great stuff
As you said, Antifragility is a fantastic concept that's so applicable when you start looking. Talib hit on something important for sure.
And you’re beautifully expanding on it!
I’m still going through his book (I’m a much slower reader of books now because I’m finding myself reading great articles written by people like you until I get to my book) but it would be fun to discuss sometime
My cognitive dissonance brain/soul speaking here, great chart btw. So this is why God allows bad things to happen to good or innocent beings?
I've heard a lot of explainations for that paradox but there's a lot of truth in what you just said.
Great points. I believe the real takeaway is balance. This essay just attempts to pull back from the extreme toward something more balanced.
As far as therapy, I'll just recommend Abigail Shrier's book Bad Therapy. It's very illuminating. https://amzn.to/3FwEXml
I'd contend that believing "This type of normal occurrence in a professional environment can even be seen as harmful." is actually what is harming these people. For all they talk about trauma, the real trauma is in their inability to deal with it.
It is the society we live in and a lot of people, like the dime-a-dozen therapists, make money off of that. (New book by Abigail Shrier titled Bad Therapy talks about this.) Even worse, the pharmacuticals who sell expensive drugs to the 'worried well. (Another great book titled Saving Normal talks about this)