I think the term "gentle parenting" is an interesting example of the rapid semantic drift that happens when an idea is disseminated through the internet and gets warped by thousands of social media second hand explanations.
In its original formulation by Sarah Ockwell-Smith, there's nothing in Gentle Parenting that says parents should beg or bribe their children rather than saying no and maintaining a firm boundary. The gentle part is about trying to remain calm, being consistent, and avoiding harsh punishment— exactly as you would a dog.
I don't shout at my dog, hit her, or put her in isolation to teach her a lesson. But I do maintain boundaries. If she snaps at another dog, I'll remove her from the situation; if she's not able to resist the temptation of deer scent, she goes back on the lead. I don't shout or hit my four year old either, or put him on a naughty step. But I do maintain boundaries around acceptable behaviour — and try and give him the skills to manage his emotions.
You nailed it, Mike. This appears to be mostly a malady in progressives families. Kids in conservative families report higher levels of happiness than in progressive families, where they're more often raised with a combination of strictness (authoritative) and loving. Gentle parenting is the opposite of authoritarian parenting, which is equally toxic. Overly-permissive parenting has helped to bring us where we are today. These kids can't even handle a simple joke, and have to take a 'mental health' day off to deal with a minor frustration.
I think the term "gentle parenting" is an interesting example of the rapid semantic drift that happens when an idea is disseminated through the internet and gets warped by thousands of social media second hand explanations.
In its original formulation by Sarah Ockwell-Smith, there's nothing in Gentle Parenting that says parents should beg or bribe their children rather than saying no and maintaining a firm boundary. The gentle part is about trying to remain calm, being consistent, and avoiding harsh punishment— exactly as you would a dog.
I don't shout at my dog, hit her, or put her in isolation to teach her a lesson. But I do maintain boundaries. If she snaps at another dog, I'll remove her from the situation; if she's not able to resist the temptation of deer scent, she goes back on the lead. I don't shout or hit my four year old either, or put him on a naughty step. But I do maintain boundaries around acceptable behaviour — and try and give him the skills to manage his emotions.
You nailed it, Mike. This appears to be mostly a malady in progressives families. Kids in conservative families report higher levels of happiness than in progressive families, where they're more often raised with a combination of strictness (authoritative) and loving. Gentle parenting is the opposite of authoritarian parenting, which is equally toxic. Overly-permissive parenting has helped to bring us where we are today. These kids can't even handle a simple joke, and have to take a 'mental health' day off to deal with a minor frustration.