Great piece, Michael. Necessary reading for the 20 and 30 something’s who are just getting started. I found the in-law component especially refreshing; for some reason, this topic is frequently dodged in the mainstream, even though it has catastrophic implications. Perhaps it’s because it’s so thorny/complex/foundational.
We seem to dance around all three which is probably why the Chaplain is always counseling about them. It’s amazing how much we want to avoid talking about the critical topic.
Sex and money are certainly uncomfortable, but also seem like the low hanging fruit— in that it’s not too taboo to mention them. I think the in-law one is trickier because of the myth-making we have around “family-first" rhetoric that’s often portrayed in Hollywood, holiday time, and now, the cultural delay of adulthood.
Where I’m going with that is that too often we only focus on the act. In my expereince this leads to a “I just wanted a back massage” missalignment were it’s not as mutually edifying. My point was to attempt to show that you can have that sexual touch regularly, which builds trust and connection, and can make the consumation more aligned and more intimate.
I loved the early pieces, they made me feel smart and included and inspired to think more expansively. I look forward to the new ones! Thanks for your response and for giving my comment your consideration.
Very good Michael and… you’re very brave to address this subject. I’m glad you graduated from Ranger School. 🤣
As an aside, I think your post is very positive. Sure you’re not sugarcoating the challenges but you illustrated very well, in my opinion, the way forward. I’m sorry that others think otherwise.
Thanks. I think a lot of it has to do with my titles. I’ve seen a pattern there that I can adjust. However, we are grappling with complex problems and that will naturally be focused on what can go wrong to help us avoid it.
Hey Beth. I appreciate that feedback. I thought this one was more positive looking at how to balance common challenges. I am trying to grapple with complex problems. I get your point though and I'm going to evaluate that trend. I've got a few in queue that are much less negative. (And a couple which hit in some difficult issues)
You've motivated me to really look at that and I needed your insight here.
Fantastic article. This is a great adage to remember. And I very much appreciate the quote!
Everybody Loves Raymond is the perfect example of an enmeshed family.
It’s amazing to me how many people deal with in-law issues. What do you suppose is behind it?
I wonder if it is natural tension which allows the adult son, for example, differentiate from the family of origin. If the man can break free, it becomes temporary, perhaps?
Or, is it mainly an issue in enmeshed families and/or not very conscious people?
I'd need to dig into that deeper but it's an ancient problem captured in Genesis 2:24. You don't need to be ordered to do what's natural. And I've often seen it where it's the enmeshed man. Just a feeling but that seems more common. What's your experience?
Muito obrigado Michael. Palavras sábias. Tenho 19 anos de casados e é como vc falou: trata-se de uma jornada de aprendizado. Seu texto merece ser guardado. Ótimo domingo para ti.
No lies detected. 👍
Great piece, Michael. Necessary reading for the 20 and 30 something’s who are just getting started. I found the in-law component especially refreshing; for some reason, this topic is frequently dodged in the mainstream, even though it has catastrophic implications. Perhaps it’s because it’s so thorny/complex/foundational.
We seem to dance around all three which is probably why the Chaplain is always counseling about them. It’s amazing how much we want to avoid talking about the critical topic.
Sex and money are certainly uncomfortable, but also seem like the low hanging fruit— in that it’s not too taboo to mention them. I think the in-law one is trickier because of the myth-making we have around “family-first" rhetoric that’s often portrayed in Hollywood, holiday time, and now, the cultural delay of adulthood.
I love the jokes. Really good. Like really, really good. Definitely stealing it!
They're some of my favorites and I stole them myself.
What will an artist do if not steal from the past greats :)
I'm a little confused. The article seems to promote sex... but the immediately shifts to sexual touch etc... without sex. Why the 'without sex' part?
Where I’m going with that is that too often we only focus on the act. In my expereince this leads to a “I just wanted a back massage” missalignment were it’s not as mutually edifying. My point was to attempt to show that you can have that sexual touch regularly, which builds trust and connection, and can make the consumation more aligned and more intimate.
I loved the early pieces, they made me feel smart and included and inspired to think more expansively. I look forward to the new ones! Thanks for your response and for giving my comment your consideration.
Very good Michael and… you’re very brave to address this subject. I’m glad you graduated from Ranger School. 🤣
As an aside, I think your post is very positive. Sure you’re not sugarcoating the challenges but you illustrated very well, in my opinion, the way forward. I’m sorry that others think otherwise.
Thanks. I think a lot of it has to do with my titles. I’ve seen a pattern there that I can adjust. However, we are grappling with complex problems and that will naturally be focused on what can go wrong to help us avoid it.
Michael - you've gotten really negative lately. Your blogs used to get me thinking, now they put me in flight or fight.
So, I've been chewing and you're right. It has taken a negative turn. I'm now going to adjust a bit. Thank you.
Hey Beth. I appreciate that feedback. I thought this one was more positive looking at how to balance common challenges. I am trying to grapple with complex problems. I get your point though and I'm going to evaluate that trend. I've got a few in queue that are much less negative. (And a couple which hit in some difficult issues)
You've motivated me to really look at that and I needed your insight here.
Thank you for the mention and everything you’ve said I’ve said too, lol. Great minds!
That’s funny how we think alike.
To differentiate
**
Fantastic article. This is a great adage to remember. And I very much appreciate the quote!
Everybody Loves Raymond is the perfect example of an enmeshed family.
It’s amazing to me how many people deal with in-law issues. What do you suppose is behind it?
I wonder if it is natural tension which allows the adult son, for example, differentiate from the family of origin. If the man can break free, it becomes temporary, perhaps?
Or, is it mainly an issue in enmeshed families and/or not very conscious people?
What do you think?
I'd need to dig into that deeper but it's an ancient problem captured in Genesis 2:24. You don't need to be ordered to do what's natural. And I've often seen it where it's the enmeshed man. Just a feeling but that seems more common. What's your experience?
Muito obrigado Michael. Palavras sábias. Tenho 19 anos de casados e é como vc falou: trata-se de uma jornada de aprendizado. Seu texto merece ser guardado. Ótimo domingo para ti.
Que bom saber disso e fico feliz que tenha gostado do artigo.